I don’t write often of politics, but it hasn’t escaped my attention that there are two very prominent working mothers in the news lately, Hillary Clinton and Michelle Obama.
Even though I favor Hillary in the race, I have more of an affinity with Michelle Obama. After all, Chelsea Clinton is a fully grown 28-year-old woman and Hillary doesn’t have to face the same work-family decisions as Michelle, who has two daughters ages 9 and 6.
In a February 28th, 2008 interview with the Houston Chronicle, Michelle Obama was asked how she manages to balance everything on her plate. She replied, “When I’m on the road, I try to keep it to day trips or maybe an overnight. And for the most part, I’m home on the weekends.”
Okay, so she juggles. She also has the benefit of her mother’s help with the children while she travels and does not use a nanny, which I’m sure provides peace of mind. As all of us working parents know, finding good childcare is difficult, and finding affordable childcare is impossible.
But it wasn’t Ms. Obama’s statement about how she manages her own busy life that impressed me, it was her insight into my life as a working mother. “The thing I deal with on a day-to-day basis are the challenges facing working mothers, challenges that transcend race and socioeconomics and class. Women feel guilty all the time.”
That last part about the guilt really hit home, which brings me back to Hillary. She raised Chelsea in the spotlight, and now enjoys the support of her adult daughter. But what does that mean for me, as a working mother today? Can she understand the issues I’m facing as a middle class working mother trying to manage work and family and feeling guilty that I can’t do either very well? I’m doubtful.
For that matter, does Michelle Obama’s inside perspective on the difficulty of juggling work and family mean her husband gets it to? Is Michelle acting as a buffer between Barack and the stress of taking care of the children to the extent that he has absolutely no insight into the difficulties that working parents face?
But whatever my doubts, I am hopeful. I am invigorated. I know they are currently running against each other, but I often speculate that if these two strong women enter the white house together, there could be a very different agenda starting in 2009.
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This article was originally published in the Poughkeepsie Journal on Saturday, March 8, 2008 under the title, “Campaign spotlights working moms”
It’s almost impossible to overlook the signs that the U.S. is falling into a recession. From the 0.6 percent drop in purchases in February, as reported on Bloomberg.com, to the 63,000 job losses last month, tough times appear imminent.
For me, the recession has become distinctly personal as my own inner circle is pinched by a job market that’s in a downward spiral. Last week I spoke with a friend of mine who’d been laid off from her job of seven years.
She’s now scrambling to update her resume and try to get back into job seeker mindset. I’ve been where she is now. I was laid off in 2002 after five years at the same job, and I remember feeling just as displaced and out of sorts.
But I’ve learned a lot since then, the biggest lesson being that we’re never really out of the job market, even when fully employed. As a consultant, this is definitely the case. I’m always looking for new opportunities, pitching myself and trying to find resources and tools to help me land new projects and make new connections.
Thus, I think I’m in a good position to outline a few tips for my friend, and for those of you who may be in the market for a new job, during a time when competition is fierce and employers are reluctant to bring on new staff.
A few tricks from a perpetual job seeker
I redo my resume, from top to bottom, at least twice a year. I also customize my resume for each position I apply for, making sure to highlight the experience I’ve had that’s relevant to the specific project, company and industry outlined in the job description. Yes, it takes time, but it’s really worth it.
Likewise I recommend sending a customized cover letter for every position you apply to. Your letter should highlight specific things that set you apart from other applicants. For example if you’re applying for a marketing position at a nonprofit organization, it’s definitely relevant to mention any charitable work/fundraising you’ve done that demonstrates your sincere interest in working with and for a charitable organization.
Another word of advice – don’t be afraid to get help. There are services like ResumeDeli that specialize in preparing applicants for the tough job of selling themselves. Free tools are also widely available online including jobs-only search engines such as Indeed.com. I also recommend building a professional profile on LinkedIn or another job site such as Monster, so employers searching for people with your skill set can find you.
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This article was originally published in the Poughkeepsie Journal on Saturday, March 15, 2008 under the title, “Successful job hunt takes work”
When I was six years old my father worked as an auto mechanic at a place called Check Car Care Center on Long Island. To this day I remember the striped shirt he wore and how I loved that it bore an oval with his name inside. I remember the smell of oil that always accompanied his return from work, and the grease smeared on his hands and arms.
There were certain things I equated with daddy’s work. Leaving the house, wearing a uniform, coming home dirty from other peoples’ cars and producing a tangible end result – the fixed car itself, all played a role in my father’s story. The consequence of his daily journey to and from the shop was clear. Work meant money and money meant everything. It was simple enough for a first grader to understand.
Is it work or play?
It’s difficult to explain the nature of work to my own six-year-old because what I do is so intangible. Unlike me, she has no frame of reference to qualify (or quantify) my work. I wear the same clothes for work and weekends, I don’t leave the house to “go off to work” and there’s no tangible payoff for the fruits of my labor. At the end of the day, no one drives away in a car that I fixed. That makes all the difference in a child’s mind.
Children are literal thinkers. Even though my daughter is beginning to grasp some abstract concepts (e.g., medicine makes our bodies well), she’s still unable to fully realize how the work I do translates to the things we buy. When I tell her that I need to work so we can eat, she has to take my word for it. I’ve definitely seen some skepticism in her blue eyes.
After all, my work day consists of sitting in front of a computer screen. This is the same computer she uses to play games online, watch fun videos on YouTube and chat over long distances with grandma.
I think bearing witness not just to fruits of my father’s labor, but to the labor itself, helped shape my adult work ethic. My children lack this frame of reference, and so I wonder how they can possibly understand how hard I work, and how this directly translates to the things we want and need.
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This article was originally published in the Poughkeepsie Journal on Saturday, March 1, 2008 under the title, “To daughter, work looks like play”
Sometimes I think about what my life would be like if my husband and I both worked outside the home and made consistent salaries, with full benefits and a steady chunk of income set aside for a 401(k). It’s tempting to daydream about that path, and how much greener the grass could be, when money is tight.
But I’ve been down that road before, when my oldest daughter was a year old. Back then my work weeks were dominated by hectic commuting, tearful good-byes, exhaustion and the ever-present feeling that I was somehow selling my both my child and my colleagues short.
The current arrangement, e.g., me working full-time and my husband extremely part-time – both of us from home, is a much happier one than my previous life as a harried, commuting, basket case.
But the flip side is that we’re constantly struggling to survive and thrive on what amounts to one income. Outwardly we have the illusion of success. We have ipods, cell phones, video games and high speed Internet access. We send our oldest child to private school because of her atrocious experience at public school, and we own more than one computer.
On the flip side we only have one decent car, our refrigerator is rarely full and we rely on credit cards way more often than we should. Some months are so tight that spending an extra $10.00 on a toy or book is a big decision.
It seems absurd when I think about it. We’re caught in a middle class paradox of creature comforts and luxuries on one hand, and impending financial disaster on the other. I don’t think two incomes is the solution right now. My earning potential is too great compared with my husband’s. The trick is finding steady work.
In the meantime, we’re all learning to be happier with less of just about everything. Getting rid of cable (an $80/month bill), shopping for food more frugally (which saves us an estimated $150-$200/month) and keeping the heat down during the day (even though we’re home) are just a few ways we’ve become more efficient as a family.
We live with less because of the decisions we’ve made but we’ve also gained a lot from the lifestyle we’ve chosen. Above all, we have a strong sense of family, and that means a lot more than money.
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This article was originally published in the Poughkeepsie Journal on Saturday, February 23, 2008 under the title, “Preferred work style takes sacrifice”
Last week I broke away from my hectic schedule to get a much needed haircut, something I only do these days when I have a big meeting or event coming up. I also snuck out to the store and bought some new clothes to replace the sweatpants and t-shirts I’ve been living in since before the holidays.
I used to make every effort to get up, get dressed (in real clothes, not sweats) and dry my hair into the semblance of a style before starting work for the day. But work picked up at some point in September, after a very quiet summer, and the time I spent taking care of myself (including going to the gym three-to-four times per week) diminished greatly.
A lapse in self care is an inevitable pitfall of working from home. This is doubly true because I have kids. The temptation to wear comfort clothes, throw my hair in a pony tail and avoid any and all makeup is strong. It doesn’t seem a worthwhile task to spend my limited time on outward appearances when there are so many other things to do.
But sometimes self neglect can actually lead to self destruction. According to a recent article in London’s Daily Mail, some working mothers are too busy to eat. There’s even a name for it. It’s called “stressorexia.” According to the article, stressorexia is a condition that affects mothers in their late 20s to 40s who are overworked and trying to be “perfect.”
I don’t know. If I were striving for perfection, I’d probably get my hair cut more than twice a year. Still, I’ll admit I work through lunch at least once a week, and if my husband didn’t love cooking, I’d probably subsist on a diet of cereal and TV dinners. The bottom line is that forgetting (or neglecting) the basics of life (eating, sleeping, getting dressed, etc.) is just really poor self care.
It’s frightening that something as critical as, well, eating can move so far down on a woman’s list of priorities as to fall off altogether.
What it all boils down to is a piece of advice I got from my wonderful hairdresser who tolerates my infrequent visits with infinite patience and good humor, “Get back to the gym, get your haircut more often and take care of yourself.” She probably should’ve added, “and don’t forget to eat.”
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This article was published in the Poughkeepsie Journal on Saturday, February 9th, 2009 under the title, “Make time to take care of yourself.”
by Jacqueline Dooley
For me, the biggest benefit of self-employment is choice. It beats flexibility, money, challenging work and even success. I cherish my ability to choose, among other things, how I work, when I work, who I work with and when I come and go.
There are a few pivotal moments in my professional life that set the course for my ultimate liberation and I thought it’d be fun to pinpoint them.
The first was a long-ago performance review. I’d been working at one company for about two years when someone was hired above me. He was an excellent writer and had a lot more work experience than me, but he had no idea what I did on a day-to-day basis. Looking back, I realize I was in the wrong department so while it was totally appropriate to hire him for the position I thought I’d wanted, it wasn’t necessarily appropriate for me to report to him.
Nevertheless, when it came time for my annual review he tried his best to evaluate me and he gave me a small raise. I was extremely disappointed. I’d been working very long hours building a new service for the company which they successfully sold to existing and new clients. I expected a promotion and a title change, along with a larger raise. I said as much.
And you know what? I got it. That same manager nominated me for employee of the year. It was the first time I really felt like someone listened. And, though I didn’t know it at the time, it was the first time I made a definitive choice to influence my career myself (beyond quitting a job or applying for a new one) instead of waiting for change to magically happen. I now realize I also had a great manager.
The next pivotal moment was the birth of my first daughter seven years ago. I was driven to find a way to reduce my hours without impacting my career, and consulting seemed a logical path to take.
The final and biggest push for me was getting laid off. This naturally crystallized my lack of control and made me realize that if I worked for someone else, the choice of staying at one job as long as I wanted was never really my own.
Real choice doesn’t happen every day. It’s one of those things you take for granted until it’s taken away.
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This article was published in the Poughkeepsie Journal on Saturday, January 12, 2008.
by Jacqueline Dooley
I used to think, naively, that choosing self-employment over traditional employment afforded me more freedom. I reasoned that by breaking away from the social and economic dependency I faced as an employee, I’d somehow become more relevant, more worthy of existence within this vast, mindless machine of unrestrained capitalism.
I was wrong. While I now have a greater earning potential than I ever did as an employee and an almost limitless flexibility with my schedule, I’m more vulnerable than ever before. And, if possible, I’m a lot less relevant – if you’re the U.S. government, that is.
U.S. Federal and State laws exist to protect employees, not freelancers. Labor laws in New York state regulate many things such as how often employees get paid, and what, if anything, gets deducted from an employee’s pay. As a freelance consultant, I’m not considered an employee, and therefore I’m not protected by the laws of the state. Sure I can sue a client for breaching a contract or violating a nondisclosure agreement, but this is at my own expense.
In addition, I face the very real possibility of IRS audits and increased accountability for every dollar earned. It makes me wonder exactly where my tax dollars are going, and why I seem to be excluded from the usual and customary protection the U.S. affords the majority of wage earning employees.
Is this fair? The revenue I generate for myself and, therefore, the government, exists because of services and deliverables I’ve created. To put it bluntly, my job wouldn’t exist if I didn’t exist and neither would my tax dollars.
I’m paying for my own healthcare. I’m paying for my child’s private school education. I’m paying federal income tax and local state tax for public schools, and service for everything from transportation to law enforcement. All I ask in return is to have the same protection as any full-time employee would.
I’m not complaining. I’m genuinely perplexed. I think self-employment is a vast new frontier, a new route towards freedom and prosperity for Americans the likes of which hasn’t existed for 100 years. But our government needs to recognize it, and nurture this growth.
I want to see subsidized healthcare for self-employed individuals in my lifetime and more protection for lost wages due to illness and injury. Above all, I hope the cost and accountability of being self employed won’t prove to be my undoing.
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This article was published in the Poughkeepsie Journal on Saturday, 12/29/07 via the title, “Regulations Taxing on Freelancers”
by Jacqueline Dooley
As 2007 draws to a close, I’m tempted to write an article devoted exclusively to my business resolutions for the coming year. But the marketer in me is curious about how realistic I was in setting my goals for 2007 back in December of 2006. If I’m not held accountable for sticking with my resolutions, after all, then who is?
Last year my main proclamation for 2007 was more of an anti-resolution. My goal was to avoid rapid growth of my business and try to stay exactly the same in terms of client load for the upcoming year.
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This article was originally published in the Poughkeepsie Journal on Saturday, December 29th, 2007.
I succeeded on both accounts. I drastically reduced my workload at the end of April 2007 and enjoyed lots of time with my children over the summer. I read many books, took many naps and allowed myself to regroup for the first time since I opened up shop in September 2002. Recharging was great, but it came at the expense of financial stability. I didn’t plan very well (or at all) for the reduced income and as a result spent the summer completely broke (but happy!)
It took me all of August and most of September to build up my workload again, and I’m very happy to say that I’m moving into the new year with some amazing new clients and prospects.
In fact, as I move towards 2008, there’s only one client on my roster that I’ve carried over from as far back as 2006. All other clients signed on with me starting in March 2007 or later. This doesn’t mean I didn’t stick with my resolution of avoiding rapid growth and heavy workload.
On the contrary, my workload is extremely manageable this year compared with last. What I didn’t realize is that suppression of growth doesn’t have to mean lack of change. So if 2007 was the year of honing down my workload to a more bearable level (after the initial pain of honing down too much), then I proclaim 2008 the year of the new client.
This year I resolve to work smarter and earn more while working less. I see my business as the path to freedom for myself and my family, and intend to try out new ideas and push the possibilities, the promise and the potential of self-employment in 2008.
Breaking away from conformity, from the confines of cubicles and rigid rules, was the biggest reason I became self-employed. I like to do things my own way and I guess the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, because my 6-year-old daughter is a lot like me.
So I shouldn’t be surprised that she isn’t embracing the rigid structure of the elementary school where she’s sentenced to six hours a day of intense reading and writing exercises in order to comply with state mandates brought into being by Bush’s No Child Left Behind Act. Nor should I be surprised by my own response to the relentless pace of her first grade teacher. My reaction is basically to take a good hard look at her education and tackle it like I do any new project – head on.
No Child Left Behind ties school funding to student performance. Performance is gauged by annual testing which begins for students starting in third grade ( age 8 ). Getting students up to speed for these tests is hard work and starts as early as kindergarten. By first grade, play time is over. The vast part of the school day is devoted to reading, writing and math.
A generation of test takers
I’m not opposed to accountability, and I don’t profess to be an expert on the education system or No Child Left Behind. I am, however, an expert on my daughter. The near-obsessive focus on getting her reading and writing skills up to speed by third grade means her days are filled with a lot of desk work and very little play. This translates to a combination of boredom and stress. While she seems to like her teacher and her friends, she’s also well on her way to hating school.
Her first grade class only gets about a half hour of “free play” one day a week. This is a lot to ask from a six-year-old. It’d be a lot to ask of most adults, so how can we expect six-year-olds to sit quietly with no down time for hours on end, day after day?
The same drive that keeps me pushing myself and my business further each year is now on high alert when it comes to my child’s education. I’ve begun researching alternatives – including private and home schooling.
Both options imply an expense and commitment that I can’t really digest right now, because they’re so overwhelming. But leaving my child in a school that’s more focused on test scores than test takers, seems a much larger sacrifice.
Recommended Reading
Let’s face it, working motherhood is demanding, hectic and often thankless. It’s a good thing there are a host of gadgets and goodies available to soothe us stressed out moms and make us smile when it’s time to open gifts. Here are a few of my top recommendations for the holiday season and beyond.
Kindle: Amazon’s New Wireless Reading Device
The Kindle, a new wireless reading device from Amazon.com which retails for $399, is my top pick. There are more than 90,000 books available for the Kindle, all of which can be loaded wirelessly onto the device in under one minute once purchased. And it’s not just about books! The Kindle also provides access to top newspapers, magazines and hundreds of blogs. The best part? This gadget holds over 200 book titles at once, weighs less than a pound and stays charged for over 24 hours! Alas, as of 12/4/07, they were temporarily out of stock. I don’t care. I still want one.
Mommytrackd.com, a great Web site targeted to working moms, offers a handful of cool gifts aimed at helping working moms stay organized. Products like the “Gee, I’ve Got It All,” note pad start just $5.00 and make great stocking stuffers. My personal favorite is the Doorganizer - a little bag that hangs from a door knob and provides pockets for storing keys, cell phones and other small gadgets that tend to disappear the second you walk through the door.
And speaking of gadgets, the iPod Shuffle is one of the cutest, coolest little gadgets I’m hoping to unwrap this season. I already own a full-sized iPod, but the Shuffle is so tiny
and travel friendly, I’m not averse to the overlap of owning (gasp!) two MP3 players just for the flexibility giving my already overstuffed briefcase a little break from all the large electronic equipment I typically lug around.
A Child’s Work: The Importance of Fantasy Play
by Vivian Gussin Paley which provides an intriguing look at the importance of play in preschoolers and kindergartners. I was glued to this book the minute I started reading it and love how Paley uses the childrens’ own words to describe their play. Paley’s rich, direct writing style breaks everything down into clear explanations that demonstrate the importance of imaginative play for building problem solving and social skills.
Happy Shopping!
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This article was originally published in the Poughkeepsie Journal on Saturday, December 8, 2007.
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